I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
