I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I love having hate sex.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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