No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
