3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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