I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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