he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
