bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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