I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
4 words: hood of his car
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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