Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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