i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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