He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
