Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
