i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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