ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he thought i was a dude.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
