Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
