barbara walters just said penis...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
