Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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