If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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