I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
