He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
