So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
