I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
