I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The chlamydia really affected his face.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
