Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
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I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
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She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.