So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
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At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD