Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.

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  (314): So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/yiuw
  Replies (16) Good night (1078) Bad night (3607)
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  (619): View more from California

  I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case

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  (619): I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case http://tfl.nu/xr3i
  Replies (17) Good night (4641) Bad night (675)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added

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  (416): today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added http://tfl.nu/jtyi
  Replies (13) Good night (5167) Bad night (691)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over

  (314): View more from Missouri

  you can't hurt those

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  (314): I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over (314): you can't hurt those http://tfl.nu/gmcq
  Replies (7) Good night (4711) Bad night (1179)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...

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  (757): I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want... http://tfl.nu/xmvr
  Replies (36) Good night (7697) Bad night (1670)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug

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  (815): shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug http://tfl.nu/1b7i
  Replies (3) Good night (884) Bad night (3060)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.

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  (403): Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice. http://tfl.nu/ol36
  Replies (10) Good night (3616) Bad night (1176)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.

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  (313): I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many. http://tfl.nu/e16i
  Replies (6) Good night (2374) Bad night (1427)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life

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  (917): No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life http://tfl.nu/p0nl
  Replies (1) Good night (633) Bad night (944)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.

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  (202): Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer. http://tfl.nu/d3xk
  Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (366)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.

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  (231): Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool. http://tfl.nu/mwvh
  Replies (13) Good night (499) Bad night (801)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.

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  (214): This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given. http://tfl.nu/z7tx
  Replies (2) Good night (964) Bad night (393)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.

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  (336): I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now. http://tfl.nu/ru0z
  Replies (6) Good night (306) Bad night (811)
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  (818): View more from California

  Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's

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  (818): Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's http://tfl.nu/ewna
  Replies (1) Good night (398) Bad night (335)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?

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  (813): We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship? http://tfl.nu/90ee
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (154)

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