My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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