So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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