pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize