I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
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We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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