I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
