I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
