her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
