I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
