Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
