At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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