you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
