How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
