Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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