the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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