my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Your penis caused this!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
