the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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