If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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