i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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