Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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