Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
