I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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