yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
nutella sex= disaster
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
