lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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