Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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