I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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