Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
