can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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