she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
