maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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